Cover art for musical single "A Crime (Three Clues)" by Doctor Rubato. A fat baby excitedly leading the charge, riding on the back of a grinning shark, with a pair of handcuffs hanging from his left wrist and a snake in his right hand, followed by an army of sea creatures, all riding on a huge wave.

A Crime Spree!

I started writing this song in 2020. I kept getting overtaken by events and having to write new verses. Finally I just gave up and said this is it. This song could be an hour long, but then who would listen to it?

People ask me who this song is about, and some are convinced they know who it’s about. I prefer to leave this as an exercise for the listener. You can have this song be about whoever you need it to be about.

What are the three clues?

Question: How can I tell he is lying?

Answer: His lips are moving.

Question: Well, maybe, but there’s a chance he doesn’t move his lips when he writes an especially nasty social media post. Anything else?

Answer: He’s breathing.

Question: What if he holds his breath when he hits the POST button?

Answer: His heart is beating.

Question: But does he even have a heart?

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